Archive | August 2015

Nothing personal

It took me a lot of time to understand but people think about themselves first.
Coming from an education which taught me the total opposite, I had a hard time understanding logic behind some people actions.

But being selfish is good to some extent:
– you take care of yourself
– you make sure you’re happy
– you don’t depend on others to be happy

As I’ve read somewhere not too long ago : “first be happy and then give the overflow to others” or “you can’t make others happy if you are not happy yourself”.
Of course being altruist is good also.
Like always the key resides in the balance of these two. Not too much of one or the other.

Depending on your environment, education, culture, you could be influenced to become more altruist or more selfish.
I found out that in big cities where there is naturally a lot of people and activities, the environment guides people to be more selfish. Everyone has suddenly a lot of activities, of a lot of acquaintances and few close friends. Relations are more meant to be used and then thrown away. It’s more superficial.

In small cities, people know each other better because there is less people to meet. They act and think more like a group. They are more judgmental between each other because there is less to care about, so any change of behavior or any difference is almost immediately noticed. Relations are meant to last, and the groups of friends usually last several years.

I’m not saying one of these behavior is better than another.

The advantage about people thinking about themselves is that they don’t care about a lot of things that you think they do.
People in the street or in the metro won’t remember your clothes. If you meet them in a party only once, they won’t remember your name.
And most important they won’t remember your mistakes, even if they notice them and laugh at them the moment you do them. Most of the time they won’t notice though.

Everyone is just too busy imagining what the others could think of themselves.
So you can go on and just think less about what the others think. By caring less about that, you might end up more free in your thoughts and behaviors. Maybe even happier.

What do you think? Are my observations right?

Because I genuinely care about what you think. 😀

Betting

Our parents bet that they will have normal children who will be happy.
They bet that they make good decisions for us (school, sports, friends, entourage).
That we will turn out good.

We bet on every decision (conscious or not) we make. And we are not aware we are betting.
We depend on many randoms factors everyday in our daily life.
And by random I mean coincidences that we cannot predict because we lack information about them.

Imagine you knew that in your neighborhood, a husband got into an argument with his wife. Now he is pissed off and he takes the car to go to his job. At 9:35 AM, he will cross a red light, too busy arguing with his wife in his mind again. You wouldn’t cross the crosswalk at this time.

And yet we do, we live, we take risks without evaluating everything because it is just impossible to know everything.
We could certainly be afraid of everything and just stay at home everyday but even that is a risk. Your physical health would be degrading, maybe you will run out of money to pay the rent and the food, and humans are social animals: what would your mental health be like by living in isolation.

Life in society requires being in motion.
If you are not in motion, others are and they are changing things anyway.

Now if you live on a deserted island and you are alone.
You would need to be in motion to find food and shelter. Maybe there could be animals on this island. You would need to bet on their behaviors.
On such an island, you would be more dependent on weather changes, you would take decisions betting on that.

Betting becomes a habit. Maybe we can call it “taking risks” instead.
So when at the casino, you’re betting on red at the roulette. You are taking the risk to lose your money, you also take the risk to win the money.

What’s the risk of trying a new activity? Something thousand of people did before.
Of course if the activity requires something you can’t afford ( money, physical activity, mental activity), don’t do it. It could also be against your moral values.
There is a risk that you will enjoy it also.
Betting is the principle of life, because we can put a name on it, because we are self=conscious beings.
Maybe by taking more reasonable bets, risks, we could enjoy the facts that we did take them, no matter the outcome.
Maybe we could enjoy more life.

Maybe betting more is living more?
What do you think?