Nothing personal

It took me a lot of time to understand but people think about themselves first.
Coming from an education which taught me the total opposite, I had a hard time understanding logic behind some people actions.

But being selfish is good to some extent:
– you take care of yourself
– you make sure you’re happy
– you don’t depend on others to be happy

As I’ve read somewhere not too long ago : “first be happy and then give the overflow to others” or “you can’t make others happy if you are not happy yourself”.
Of course being altruist is good also.
Like always the key resides in the balance of these two. Not too much of one or the other.

Depending on your environment, education, culture, you could be influenced to become more altruist or more selfish.
I found out that in big cities where there is naturally a lot of people and activities, the environment guides people to be more selfish. Everyone has suddenly a lot of activities, of a lot of acquaintances and few close friends. Relations are more meant to be used and then thrown away. It’s more superficial.

In small cities, people know each other better because there is less people to meet. They act and think more like a group. They are more judgmental between each other because there is less to care about, so any change of behavior or any difference is almost immediately noticed. Relations are meant to last, and the groups of friends usually last several years.

I’m not saying one of these behavior is better than another.

The advantage about people thinking about themselves is that they don’t care about a lot of things that you think they do.
People in the street or in the metro won’t remember your clothes. If you meet them in a party only once, they won’t remember your name.
And most important they won’t remember your mistakes, even if they notice them and laugh at them the moment you do them. Most of the time they won’t notice though.

Everyone is just too busy imagining what the others could think of themselves.
So you can go on and just think less about what the others think. By caring less about that, you might end up more free in your thoughts and behaviors. Maybe even happier.

What do you think? Are my observations right?

Because I genuinely care about what you think. 😀


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  1. Live and let live | Debugging World - November 5, 2015

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