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The way of the coward.

We all met them. Maybe you are one of them also. You know, this kind of person who can’t express himself. Not being able to say no or what he thinks. Who thinks not answering or ghosting somebody is gonna help him.

Instead of discussing, this person looks at his phone ringing totally afraid. Afraid he could have a discussion. Afraid he could understand something.
Texting is lame. It takes hours to get some information exchanged.

With a phone call you have so much information.
But they lack of courage, so they stop answering. They live in their hypocrisy, and their lack of ability to express their feelings and emotions.
They hide.
That’s their way to stop their friendships, their relationships.
That’s the way of the cowards.

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La trentaine

Que ce soit quelques années avant ou après avoir obtenu tes 30 ans, il y a des changements qui arrivent dans nos vies.

Tu as perdu ton invincibilité: tu te souviens quand tu pouvais te passer de sommeil, faire des soirées en boite jusqu’à 4 heures du mat à cause de cette jolie femme, et te réveiller à 7 heures du matin pour aller au job en étant opérationnel? C’est fini.

Manger n’importe quoi et ne pas grossir? Fini.

Si tu as été malin, tu avais déja pour habitude de prendre soin correctement de ta santé, donc le choc n’a pas été trop dur.

Tes amis ont commencé à se reproduire depuis 10 ans, mais maintenant ils sont de plus en plus nombreux. Certaines de tes amies désespèrent d’être célibataires parce qu’elles ont peur d’avoir des enfants après l’age de 35 ans.

Certains de tes amis sont mêmes morts. Des membres de ta famille sont morts. Cela te fait te rendre compte de ta propre mortalité, en plus de ta perte d’invincibilité. Tu t’es toujours dit qu’un jour tu reverrais tel ou tel ami, il était cool, toujours souriant. Il est mort bêtement. Toutes les façons de mourir sont bêtes, parce que ça ne fait pas de sens. Pas de sens humain en fait. Si on se rapporte au règne animal, c’est logique, tous les animaux meurent. Mais les humains aiment essayer de trouver du sens, une signification à tout, alors qu’il n’y en a pas.

Tu as des bagages … émotionnels, tu as eu des relations amicales, amoureuses. Elles ont peut être laissées des cicatrices, des souvenirs en tout cas.

 

Mais il y a des avantages à cette période de la vie:

Tu te connais bien, mieux que jamais. Tu sais comment tu fonctionnes. Tu sais que pour calmer ton maux de gorge, il te faut boire un verre de chocolat chaud. Tu sais que ton dos ira mieux après avoir dormi. Tu sais que tu ne survivras pas à 3 soirées différentes après ta journée de boulot.

Tu sais ce que tu aimes et tu n’aimes pas. Et tu ne laisses pas quelqu’un te forcer à faire quelque chose que tu n’aimes pas. Tu choisis très sélectivement ton emploi du temps et tes relations. Pas le temps pour les amitiés et les amourettes sans avenir, sans intérêt. Hors du chemin, les hypocrites et les profiteurs. Le temps compte désormais. Il s’agit de maximiser le cout d’opportunité, et de vivre dans le présent. Alors qu’avant… tu avais “toute la vie devant toi”.

Tu te mets à t’intéresser à des sujets qui te paraissaient hors de portée avant: paternité, maternité, investissement, hypothèque, entrepreneuriat, politique…

En fait, tu te mets à t’impliquer dans des choses qui comptent. Ou tout du moins tu as l’impression qu’elles comptent, jusqu’à ce que tu atteignes ta prochaine décennie. Ou tes priorités auront encore changé. Tes enfants seront adolescents ou adultes à ce moment la et tu porteras des lunettes si tu n’en as pas déja.

Forward, always forward.

As Pop used to say. This quote from the TV show Marvel’s Luke Cage is used to express an advice from a character to the main character. That he shouldn’t mourn the past and should keep going on.

The world is in constant motion, whether it is physically or literally.
During our lives we will experience so many situations, we won’t be able to control them, plan them. A lot of people will be born, or will die during our lifetime. Our circle of friends will keep on changing. It’s more than possible that we will move out, move in many times.

Trying to keep everything constant is difficult. We won’t be able to stay in this or that relationship, or this friendship. Friends will move out, lose interest, have babies. And we will too.

The only way to deal with this will of continuity is to accept that he can’t exist.
We must accept that we will have to adapt to what arrive in our lives, no matter what.

The opposite is wasting time and efforts for something that doesn’t exist: the past.

Les humains n’ont aucune idée.

Lorsqu’un humain nait, il est totalement sans défense, dépendant de ces parents ou personne en charge. Il ne peut survivre sans d’autres humains. De nombreux animaux peuvent s’en sortir sans leur parents à la naissance, sans une éducation du moins.

Pendant toute sa vie, l’humain va apprendre tout un tas de trucs, à propos de tout. Et des milliers de règles non-écrites pour vivre dans la société dans laquelle il habite.

Ce qui m’embête c’est que certains humains croient tout savoir, se croient au-dessus. Alors que tout n’arrête pas de changer constamment.
Ils peuvent devenir le meilleur programmeur, passer des mois entiers à parfaire leur art, c’est très probable qu’ils ne sauront pas faire quelque chose considéré comme élémentaire par beaucoup comme cuisiner ou même nager.

Ils frimeront, essayeront de t’humilier parce que tu ne sais pas ou tel ou tel chose super précise.
Il suffit alors de demander quelque chose à coté pour prouver leur ignorance.

A plus grande échelle, les humains ne savent pas pourquoi ils vivent, pourquoi ils pensent. Certains ne sont pas conscients de leurs émotions, réactions et ne peuvent pas les verbaliser.

Pendant des siècles, les humains ont pensé que la Terre était plate et que le Soleil tournait autout de la Terre.
Les exemples ne manquent pas à ce sujet. Et nos croyances vont continuer de changer constamment.

J’aimerais alors qu’on arrête de prétendre savoir, de penser être supérieur, être inférieur à quelqu’un d’autre à quelque chose.
On est juste des humains, rien de plus, rien de moins.

Pain

Physical or mental, pain is a mechanism warning us of danger. It tells us that if we keep on doing something what we do, or if we keep not taking care of the painful part of us, it will get worse.

It exists since always in the human race. It is what prevented our race from a lot of dangers. It is what made us survive to this day.

You burn your hand by touching a stove? Your body reacts and you learn from it.

But like most of the things, pain isn’t identically felt by every human.

You can react differently than your neighbor to it.

You can get used to it.

You can get addicted to it also.

 

 

What interests me more is the fact that you can control it with your mind (of course):

You can tame it, reduce it by the force of your will.

You can also produce more of it, and suffer more than you should.

In the case of somatization, the mind of the patient can’t hold the mental pain anymore so it transfers some of the pain to the body.

I find that phenomenon fascinating. It means our mind is very strong.

During years, in the field of psychology, mind and body have been considered as separated concepts, but it’s until recently that it has been considered as one.

While experiencing pain or after it, you might want to express yourself somehow.

You either want to say “help me” , or “it is over now, I’m past that”.

10 things weird people do

  1. They watch episode of a TV show in their entirety. They can’t just stop in the middle of it just because they need to. No. If they watch it, it’s entirely so they must plan ahead when they will have time to watch it.
  2. They don’t throw boxes of their electronic devices. Why? Because maybe they need to return the device to the store if it has a defect. Obviously, the store cares about the box. Or if they want to resell the device in the future. Maybe it needs the box, to add value to it.
  3. They buy food from the supermarket but they won’t consume it the day they bought it. Why? Because they want to enjoy the fact they bought it with their own money. They want the food they bought to last a little big longer in the fridge… to enjoy the company of it, I guess?
  4. They don’t watch TV, they said they are better than that. They are not exposed to advertisements this way. So they watch the same TV shows with the same actors on YouTube, Netflix with YouTube and Internet ads.
  5. They buy books, movies or games but they don’t read, watch or play them. It increases the already huge pile of things they don’t touch. Why did they buy it? Because it was a limited time special offer. Because they like the cover, the title, the boxart or the idea of it. But yeah, they don’t touch it.
  6. They put a lot of efforts into making a Halloween costume. Or a lot of money into buying one. A costume for one night. Or two if they have an office Halloween party as well. They sure can reuse that costume next year, but it wouldn’t be original anymore. So yeah a costume for one night, it is as useful as a wedding dress.
  7. They keep a lot of items that might be useful in the future : screws from some unknown furniture they built, buttons from a shirt they lost, extra USB cables, power cords, phone cables, plates, keys…. But the future where these items become useful never happen.
  8. They don’t want to take some meds when in pain because their pride is too strong. They want to feel like that they don’t need that, that they are invincible like they were in their 20s. But they are not in their 20s anymore.
  9. They don’t have a data plan on their phone because it’s expensive. So they have to remember (or even worse write it down like it’s the 2000’s again !) the address of the location they are going to. They miss the last minute change of plan of an event because everyone is using Facebook now instead of texting and calling. And yet they keep on connecting to each Tim Horton’s Wi-Fi or McDonalds’ one because they are addicted to the Internet anyway.
  10. They try to take their friends to some place they love but they didn’t go in a long time. But they don’t check about the place before going by calling or checking online. No, they go and most of the times the place is closed.

 

 

I guess I must be weird then.

How much is enough?

Imagine you always wanted to start your own business.

You made enough savings to live during your tries.

And you try your luck, starting your business.

You work a lot. You find clients. You start small but it’s growing at a steady pace.

Few years later, you have an established company, few employees, a lot of clients, and you make your first million of dollar.

It keeps on growing, you make more millions.

Now a huge company wants to buy your company, for hundred of millions of dollar.

All right,

Where do we stop?

When do we decide that is enough?

 

What was your aim when you started ?

You wanted to become independent financially?  Done

You wanted to help people with the service delivered by your business? Done.

 

But how many millions of dollars do you need?

Why do you keep on working?

Or why does your company keep on running?

 

Does it bring something to the world? Does it give you the impression you have an impact on the world?

I always wondered about that. If I was in this situation or even without that. Even now. About everything. How much money do I need to save? What for? How many movies do I watch? What will it bring? How many video games will I buy? What for?

 

What’s the goal of all this? Power? Freedom? Self esteem? Influence?

What would I do if I was managing hundred of stores across the country?

The annoying thing is that at one point, unless you have a business very helpful for the rest of the population, that it will imply a lot of persons, a lot of resources.

And the number of resources on this planet is finite.

 

We can’t always all aim super high. All wanting to become future Bill Gates or Steve Jobs.

We won’t be able to all succeed.  But is it worth fighting the others to impose your point of view? with your wealth and your big corporation?

 

I imagine that if one day I’ll become independent financially. I’ll stop working… and I don’t know… maybe I’ll find a way to improve people’s lives…. Or I’ll just buy more companies, and even more, to feel powerful, to feel superior to other humans?!

If you don’t need to work anymore. What do you do of your days? Is that the reason why people keep on working even when they don’t need to?

 

Humans are weird.